Posted by: chrisbatz | June 28, 2009

Self-employment and Jesus leadership

The journey of self-employment has been fascinating in that I see the Lord
using it more so to do 3 things: 1)To get to my heart and the barriers there in blocking Him and others.
2) And also allow me to have incredible free time with Cristina and baby Madeline since I am
working out of the home. 3) And finally, for the both of us to really just rest in Him….

A 9 to 5 job seems to provide adequate healthy boundaries like hours and
steady pay…. but once you do it yourself all that is challenged…. So I am
being confronted with the choices of priorities such as marriage, fatherhood,
intimacy with the Lord, friends, and then providing… Reality has had me giving most of my priorities to business, some to family, and what’s left to the Lord… and usually I am cross and anxietious through it all.

This perfectly sets my heart in a place of striving, if I did not have a lifestyle of
dependence and surrendur to Jesus, which I thought I did but not to the level He is requiring me. So I strive, strive, strive… with some fruit but the momenet I take steps of faith and obedience by hearing His voice in my business decision making…”to do this or if I do this, He’ll do that”… I eventually hit a wall, cry out, and re-align my schedule to pursuing Him as priority first…. or at least giving Him ample time in prayer and the Word (a specific time frame spoken to me by the Holy Spirit)

This re-alignment I refer to as a “wounding”…. I say in my heart that my family’s times and seasons are in His hands. Its a surrendur of the fears of failure, confession of unbelief, and to be watchful over the doubtful confessions of my mouth. It’s a feeling and piercing of pride that says I cannot provide beyond what You have promised over my family. Its an utter dependence in His mercy. Its a declaring that I must put priority to my time and seek the direction and wisdom of the Holy Spirit so that my steps are ordered by Him. Its a continual surrendur of busyness and distractions so that I can be focus on Him first and then my other priorities like Cristina and Madeline and then adequate time will be added to my bottom line of business.

I am convinced no matter where we are in life, Jesus forms opportunities to get to our hearts, to release us into greater knowledge of God, and to direct us to freedom/wholeness…that place where we were created to live. Everything else is a shadow, an imitation of…

May we have a yes in our hearts and a yielding spirit to His ways, His wounding,…to His leadership.


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